PeaceChicken.com

Let’s talk about roadkill.

I’m so sick of seeing it! Mainly because it makes me sad. My cynical mind doesn’t just think “oh that poor raccoon.” No, it’s not that simple. My head thinks something like “that poor innocent animal, just living in the area it would normally be living in, then the greedy humans come along and build roads all over the place and now its home has been reduced to a small strip of land alongside a highway and behind a Wal-Mart.” It’s tiring having that go through your head every three miles!

Now, I realize it’s too late to do anything about the urban sprawl that has taken over the entire Central Ohio area. I depend on I-270 just as much as any other Columbus citizen. Without it the drive to work would take a lot longer, and plus cars get better gas mileage on the highway which is a very good thing.

So here’s what needs to happen. Animals need to learn to look both ways before they cross the street.

Just today I was driving somewhere in the chaos of BMW’s and W stickers that is called Tuttle Crossing, and I see this squirrel take off across the street, perfectly timing itself to be in the trajectory of an oncoming car on the opposite side. There was nothing I could do but watch and hope my depth perception was off. But no, I heard a thud and instinctively said “oh $hit!!” I thought it was over, but I swear when I looked in my rear-view mirror the stupid squirrel had made it to the other side. He was very lucky.

But there are a few Canadian geese alongside 270 between the Tuttle and Fishinger exits that weren’t so lucky. This is ridiculous. Birds have no excuse for getting hit by cars!! I have no idea how it happens but it frequently does. Now come on geese, I am a valiant defender of you guys and then you go and walk around dangerous places when you could just fly over safely. You’re not making it easy for people to accept your prominent existence in Columbus!

So, how do we start instilling the instinct to look both ways before crossing a street? How do parents start teaching their kids to do this? What if we assigned one human for every squirrel, raccoon, cat, dog, etc. and have them hold their paw and cross with them until they can demonstrate their ability to be fine on their own? Do we have enough humans to do that? Or do we just have to wait for them to get used to all the roads and evolution will teach them for us?

Tough problem, and one that needs a solution. Perhaps if I come up with one I’ll use it as part of my platform for my 2020 Presidential campaign, that’s a golden ticket right there.

Side post: I just realized I haven’t posted yet this month. For whatever reason I haven’t had the desire to write much lately. I was gonna write a whole big post about my trip to Mississippi, but the sense of obligation I had to write it has only made me avoid the whole thing. Not because it wasn’t an amazing and eye-opening trip. On the contrary, there are so many important things that need to be said, it’s hard to even start. For now I’ll just post a link to my photo sets on Flickr and write about it later. It’s the first 6 sets, though I’m sure you would’ve soon figured that out since the 7th set is titled “Downtown Columbus” and I gots me some smart readers.