PeaceChicken.com

Are you hesitant to risk the ensuing depression of putting yourself through it, but still feel a civic responsibility to tune in? Fear not, my friends, I have the solution: www.DrinkingGame.us

“The general rules of this game are no different from any other drinking game. A drink is either a shot or a good gulp from a beer (or cider). Different events call for different numbers of drinks and all you do is watch the speech and play along. If all goes well, you’ll be unconscious by the time they show the other party’s response.”

Featuring categories such as foreign policy (troops, Israel, Pakistan, “nukular”), general blather (freedom, progress), and domestic policy (stimulus, economy, Homeland.)

* * * Be alert for bonus drink opportunities, like if Bush pronounces “Mahmoud Ahmadinejad” correctly! If he discusses redeploying the troops, that’s when you “redeploy the contents of your beverage into your mouth.” If the camera shows a close-up of Nancy Pelosi (without Bush in the shot) you have to do a shot without moving any of your facial muscles— and other fun bonuses.

I’d like to add my own personal bonus — if Bush says “RON PAUL” at any time, you must immediately finish the entire bottle of whatever you’re drinking. If it’s beer, finish off the case!

Cheers, mateys!