
Citibank Student Loans
P.O. Box 6191
Sioux Falls, SD 57117-6191
Congratulations on your recent bailout by the Federal Government! I’m so glad to hear your stock won’t continue its freefall collapse— what a terrible Thanksgiving that would have made for your stockholders.
My reason for writing today actually has to do with this recent news. See, I still owe you guys quite a bit of money for my student loan. Now, I know you don’t like to positively reinforce your responsible borrowers who make their payments on time and in-full every month, but please hear me out.
Since my tax money is now being funneled to you (my calculations conclude $326 billion divided by the estimated 99,880,223 Americans who the IRS has deemed liable to pay taxes equals $3,264 per taxpayer) — surely I won’t be expected to pay Citibank over $3,000 indirectly by way of the bailout on top of the thousands I already owe you? That’s terribly unethical and I know your business would never compromise its moral standards just to make a buck.
So, I look forward to getting my updated loan balance with this amount subtracted. I can see why you bankers are so addicted to these bailouts, it’s such a load off my back!
Sincerely,
Acct. Number 19840033
Loyal usury victim since 2001
P.S. I’m sending a Thank You card to my nephews to thank them for sacrificing their future financial freedom in exchange for our American way of life and patriotic call to live beyond our means. I’ve included it with this letter, will you sign it too? Thanks, it would mean a lot!




